Stress

So I'm really stressing out about childcare. We're waiting to hear back from some friend's about nanny sharing, which would be ideal, but it has to be okay with their nanny. I've been checking out other options as well. The idea of leaving Elias with someone I don't know, scares the hell out of me. I know people do it every day and maybe I'll get over the fact but right now I'm scared.

Since there are no "big" daycare centers close to home we're looking at either a nanny or in-home daycare. I would prefer a nanny. The price is higher but you may get some cleaning and laundry out of it. Elias gets personal service and I'll worry less (I'll still worry a ton mind you) that he'll be left screaming in a corner while they attend to other children. In-home is not bad either if there are not a lot of kids. I had one lady email me back saying she's licensed for eight at a time, but only 3 infants. Eight at a time! Are you kidding me. So you're telling me my child will get 1/8 of your time. What does he do the rest of the time? To me that seems crazy. Some tell me prices of $4 an hour (which seems really low) and other $8. For $8 I might as well get a nanny.

I think I'm more upset about Elias going into daycare or leaving him with a nanny than I was returning to work. When I came back to work I knew Elias was safe. He's with his grandparents. They love him, nurture him and take care of him like the miracle he is. If we can find someone who adores him even 1/10 the amount I do hopefully he'll be okay. Actually I'm pretty sure I'll never be okay. Carly

See I'm not the only one...see earlier post the D word.

Parents magazine has an article called Grandparents Get a Life. The premise is "Has anyone noticed that if you want your busy parents to come and bake cookies with your kids you practically need to make an appointment?...So what's the matter with granparents today? Not a thing, it's just that they have lives." If you want to read the article click here.

As I opined before things are much different today than when we were kids. Most if not all of my friends are in the same boat. Their parents are working, traveling or generally just too busy. Believe me I think its great and I plan to be that kind of Grandparent too!

The D Word.

Daycare. Gone are the days when Grandma lived blocks away and your child could be dropped off without worry of being shaken or left in a car. My Grandmother lived very close (four blocks) and watched me when my mom went back to work until I became a latch-key kid. It was great. She gave me lots of ice cream and cookies and we watched her Soaps together. We developed a bond that lasted until the day she passed away. I will never forget the time we had together and I wish Elias could have met her. She is and was very special to me.

Nowadays Grandparents are older, live far away and basically have lives. I would love for Elias' Grandparents to drop everything and take care of him but that's not only impossible but selfish.

That said, our parents are being very accomodating and watching Elias until he's six months old. Then when he goes to daycare he'll be a bit older, more aware and starting solid foods. However, that doesn't mean I'm at all more at ease with it. The idea of handing my son to a stranger kills me. I've seen too many of those hidden nanny cams were the nanny is shaking the child. I don't know what I would do to a person who did that to my child, but I'll tell you it wouldn't be pretty. When Elias finally does go to daycare I know that I'll have run extensive background checks, talked to about 500 references and spied on the facility.

Someday I'll have my own practice, hopefully with one of my best friends, and the daycare situation will be a lot easier. Until then I'm going to unclench my fists, stop grinding my teeth and try and find someone to watch Elias who lives up to my standards. As Brad would say, good luck with that.

-C