Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go.

So I head back to work a week from today. I'm truly not doing very well with it. Thankfully I'm leaving Elias in the arms of our parents, which does relieve a lot of anxiety but it still hurts. I know we all have to do it sometime. All my friends have gone through it and are still alive. Their children are thriving and wonderful to be around so I know it's not hard on the kids. I think it is actually harder on the Mom's than anyone else. Being a working mother you have this feeling of guilt of leaving your child. You go to college, law school, etc. then get pregnant, have a precious little one and realize you have to go back to work. Whether it's for financial reasons, the fact you spent umpteen years in school, or both. However, you can't shake that feeling of guilt associated with leaving your child. It really tears you in two. It's definitely different today than when our parents were children. Their mothers wouldn't dream of working but of course women had no opportunities back then.

With modernization and women's lib we gain equality but is it at the cost of our children. I don't think so. My mom worked and I'm fine (if not great, ha ha) but I can't help but be depressed, emotional and hesitant about returning to work. You have all these grand ideas before you have kids, "I could never be a stay at home mom", "I'll be able to return to work early", "I'll never take my kid into our bed (heard that one before from me right ;)" but once you become a parent that all goes out the window. The kids decide your fate. Elias is an outgoing, happy, smart kid and I know he'll do fine. It's me I'm worried about. Anyone have any sage advice or tips on how to deal?

Carly